My journey through Grief with Yoga
Donovan
In 2004, my son Donovan was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. At just six days old, he underwent his first open-heart surgery. Over the next three years, he would endure three more open-heart procedures, a stroke, and several other lifesaving interventions—ultimately leading to a heart transplant in 2007.
During those difficult years, we met dozens of families facing similar medical challenges. Tragically, many of those babies did not survive. I saw my first child-sized coffin in 2005. (Rest in peace, Kayla.) Bearing witness to those losses and being present for grieving parents changed me forever. The experience left me not only grappling with my own anguish but also carrying deep empathy and emotional pain for others.
It took many years to find any sense of peace.
Donovan went on to thrive for 17 beautiful years. He became not just my son, but my brother, my confidant, and my dear friend. Then, on the last day of August 2023, Donovan passed away peacefully in his sleep due to complications from his transplant—specifically hardening of the arteries at the graft site.
There are no words that can fully express the grief of losing a child you loved with your whole being.
And yet, by the grace of God—and through the grounding, healing practice of yoga—I am here to talk about it.
Yoga, the union of mind, body, and spirit through the mastery of breath, has saved my life. It continues to heal me, every single day. It has become essential to how I cope with grief, trauma, and life’s greatest challenges.
Meditation for Healing from Grief
You are not alone.
Take a few minutes to soften your breath, quiet your thoughts, and come home to your heart.
1. Find a Comfortable Seat
Sit or lie down in a quiet place. Let your body be supported. Close your eyes if it feels safe to do so.
2. Soften Your Breath
Begin to breathe slowly and gently.
Inhale through your nose for a count of four.
Hold for a moment.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of six.
Repeat this rhythm for a few rounds, letting your body start to soften.
3. Feel Into Your Heart
Bring your attention to the center of your chest—your heart space.
Imagine your breath moving in and out of your heart.
If you’re holding pain, grief, or tension there, don’t push it away. Just notice.
Allow yourself to feel whatever arises, without judgment.
4. Repeat This Gentle Mantra (silently or aloud):
I am safe to feel. I am safe to heal.
Grief is love, seeking a new path.
Each breath is a step toward peace.
Repeat for a few minutes, breathing into the words.
5. Rest in Stillness
Let go of the mantra. Just be. Breathe softly. Let your awareness expand gently. Feel the ground beneath you, the support around you, and the breath within you.
When you're ready, slowly open your eyes.